I was flipping between last night’s Sox game on NESN and Donnie Darko on HBO Zone, and I’m still trying to figure out which was the more surreal viewing experience.
The game had people playing at strange new positions, a knockdown on the basepaths instead of the batter’s box, and the eerie luminesence of a continuous rain.
The movie had a demonic, seven-foot rabbit; Patrick Swayze as a sinister motivational speaker; and jet engines crashing into houses from out of thin air.
One thing they had in common: an apocalyptic vision of the future. In Darko, it’s in the form of the aforementioned rabbit, which appears to the titular hero to warn of the end of the world. At last night’s game, it was in the form of the seventh inning, when the Blue Jays plated three runs and it started to look as if the Sox’ 5-1 lead might just slither down the drain.
But the offense came through with three runs in the bottom of the eighth on a Damon triple and Dave Roberts double. Then Foulke shut the door, getting six outs for his twentieth save. And suddenly, the future didn’t look so grim.
The story of the game, at least in my fevered head, is Minty. Dude was playing second base for only the second time in his major league career and he made a fuggin’ stellar play in the first inning, snaring a ball and instigating a wicked double play. Later, he got knocked on his ass by Carlos “Perpetu-Sneer” Delgado, and actually started after Chewbacca like he wanted to throw down. For someone who’s about as imposing as the guy who played Skippy on Family Ties, Minty won some props in my book with that one. Respek!
Anyway, Lowe, who allowed only four runs and struck out seven in a pretty decent outing, returned the favor a few innings on by plunking Delgado on his ass. But there were no punches, no emptied benches. Just a much-needed Red Sox win on a soggy night at Fenway.
Speaking of smacked asses, Cabrera continued to straddle the thin line between love and hate, looking ghastly on two errors — one in the seventh that, at least for a few moments, seemed as if it might have set off a downward spiral — but also knocking in a couple runs. Even if his bat heats up, after witnessing that pathetic check-swing tapper that snuffed out Sunday’s potential ninth-inning rally, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather eat my foot (so long as I have choice of side dish) than see Cabrera at the plate in any sort of clutch situation.
Tonight, we get Pedro, and even though the Jays are countering with Ted Lilly, I’ve got the confidence. Yeah, that’s right. I’m feeling good again. Like anything can happen. Like the Sox are gonna sweep the Jays, and do whatever else needs to be done to keep that rabbit at bay.
And I hope Kapler (AKA The Hebrew Hammer, Mazel Tough!, etc.) plays tonight. I miss the guy.