At Last! Tonight! The magic that is inter-friggin’-league play begins! It’s the night when old scores will be settled, ancient rivalries renewed, and the sheer summertime mysticism of not one but TWO leagues will come alive in ballparks and stadiums across North America.

In Baltimore, the Orioles will face their most bitter nemesis. That’s right — the Arizona Diamondbacks! And LA will have its hands full, battling the Toronto juggernaut — a team that has held the Dodger franchise securely under its thumb for decades! Don’t think the Yankees will have it easy; Jeff Fassero will be bringing the pain — and his filthiest stuff — to signal a brand new era of Colorado domination at Yankee Stadium.

It’s a night of off-the-charts baseball insanity. Montreal at Kansas City! Pittsburgh at — holy jumping shit — Texas?!? And in Oakland, the electricity in the air can only mean one thing… the Cincinnati Reds are in the house.

Of course, here in Red Sox county, we know just what our boys are facing. We’ve been waiting for another crack at the San Diego Padres ever since the epic series of, I dunno, 1973? Yeah. Well, we may have taken our lumps back then, but for feck’s sake, we’re not gonna roll over this time. Screw that noise. Time to represent. You hear me San Diego? Bury your ass in the sand right now, cause this is as good as it’s gonna get. Come correct!

*****

Joking aside, interleague play to me is about as interesting as a four-and-a-half-hour documentary on muffin tins. Yeah, it’s a chance to witness some strange new uniforms and the spectacle of Derek Lowe in a batting helmet, but for the most part, it seems to have gotten very tired, very fast. At least to me. I am willing to concede that interleague play gave us two of last years more exciting games, in that lambasting of the Marlins and the extra-inning affair against the Phillies where Thome hit, like, fourteen home runs. For the most part, however, my attitude is wake me up on June 22 when the Twins arrive. And thanks.

In non-baseball news, Sunday’s season finale of The Sopranos was much, much better than I’d anticipated, setting the stage for an intense season six. And as sad as I am to see Buscemi go, I don’t think any of the new characters, including Joe Pantolino’s Ralphie Cifaretto, has come close to matching the intensity of second season thug Richie Aprile, who imbued every scene with batshit lunacy.