Off days after a loss suck. All we had to look forward to was Baltimore beating the Yankees. Right. I’ve got Oliver Stone looking into this – Steinbrenner Enterprises has a wholly owned subsidiary called “My stable of bitches”, I’m pretty sure the Orioles are on that payroll.

Wakefield goes tonight against a guy named Jimmy Gobble. Are you friggin’ serious?

Jimmy Gobble? Sounds like a character in a Saturday Night Live skit about a turkey Mafia. We lose to this guy and I may throw myself under the bandwagon.

Somebody please ask Terry Francona to blow his nose before interviews.

If I have to hear one more Kevin Millar interview, I may start taking hostages. Kevin, we know you love the team, we know you love the city, we know you love the rivalry, did I miss anything? Shut up and hit the little white thing they keep throwing at you.

Would everybody still love Pokey Reese if he was referred to as Calvin? I would.

Why is home plate 60 feet 6 inches from the pitcher’s mound?

Rob “Officer” Dibble was ranting on ESPN’s Baseball Tonight about how to pitch to Vlad. “You gotta pitch him inside”, he said about a hundred times. Dibbs, did you see the pitch Pedro threw that he took deep?

Ninjas are sweet.

“Put me in coach”…please, no more Gabe Kapler playing center. He looks like he doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind when the ball is hit to him. Actually, he looks like he already did both when a ball is coming his way.