Some Red Sox players have voiced complaints about the team’s commercial jet, The Hartford Courant reported May 18. “Our plane, it’s hard to sleep on,” closer Keith Foulke told the newspaper. “So it’s hard to get your rest. Then you’re showing up at 3 or 4 in the morning. It’s tough. It’s a 757. It’s a big plane. But we’re still sitting in coach seats.” Manager Terry Francona and the coaching staff sit in first class.

Note to Foulke, et al: Win the friggin’ World Series, and you’ll get your own Team Spaceship, complete with pilots Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan (in matching leather spacesuits, might we add) and a wise-cracking, beer-dispensing Robot who knows “a guy” in Vegas and can hook you up like that (finger snapping sound goes here) whenever you’re in town.

Until then, I’d say suck it up and just focus on winning some ball games. But that’s just me. And we all know what a jerk I am, ‘specially after a few belts.

In other news, RIP Tony Randall.